My 2011 Resolutions (a blogging tradition)

Hope everyone had a fantabulous (what the??) Christmas!!

BUT first I want to mention that I am ON MY WAY 17 WEEKS!!  And guess what? I totally feel pregnant. And look pregnant for the most part. Which is a plus :) I can't believe that I feel the baby move this early too! I can only feel it from the inside (what they call quickening), and not hubby yet. But monkey moves a lot during the day and night, it feels like thumping, slivering and sometimes just bopping along, it's crazy! Sometimes monkey thinks it's a good day to crowd one corner my lower abdomen and it hurts, when I give it pudge, it feels really hard but then monkey moves away and it goes back normal.



Now onto the resolutions...


Well since I'm new to blogger since...about 6 months ago (still newbie status?!) Back on Xanga I had a tradition of every single year posting my previous years resolutions and reflecting on them, and then posting my new years resolutions for the incoming year. I've been doing this since...forever. And the tradition continues again...

Here is 2010's resolutions:
My 2010 Resolutions written on December 17, 2009

Continue my growth with God:
I think this year, God has tested me a little bit, especially in my faith, but I think each time I have preserved and continue to love him and praise him. When we get back home we are finally going to start going to churches, so HOPEFULLY, we can get to a church at least once this year!! Actually I KNOW we will attend at least once this year, it would be ultimately great to find a home church and have a church we enjoy being a part of.

Guess what?? We totally found a home church this year and officially joined in the early fall. I feel that both my relationship and growth with God has been tremendous this year, and although I don't feel I'm where I should be ideally, I feel I have definitely completed this resolution!

Stay in shape:
Although, I have put a good 5-10 pds this year, everyone swears it's a healthy looking thickness for me, and since I've stopped my BC I haven't really lost much of it so I'm thinking it's here to stay. I just want to get in shape though, lose what little belly fat I have, and also feel energized and eat healthy. With my hectic schedule coming up this year, I'll need to def. have the strength to not lose my mind and/or get obese!!

I had put some weight during 2010, I was the biggest I've ever been, 125 pds.I know that's not a lot to most people, but I've always struggled with keeping weight on for years so it was nice to be up to 125(I usually stayed at 105-110)! Hubby and I did P90X in the spring and that helped us out a ton. And now that I'm pregnant....it doesn't matter :)


Travel a bit:
I def. want year 2010 to be a great exp for traveling different places, if God willing, go to Vegas, Mexico, Texas, a cruise, and skiing/staying in a cabin!! That's a lot of things, but I plan on being active this year...because who knows what 2011 may bring!

This year we went to Vegas, Mexico, Texas (twice!!), Florida, back to Ohio, and that was enough for one year!! I had so much fun this year! I still want to go on a cruise and stay in a cabin but it might not happen this year.


Finish school finally!:
Finally, finish my internship as non complicated as possible, if all goes well, I will finish either in Fall quarter or in Winter quarter either way I SHOULD graduate before 2011! So I'm looking forward to doing well in my intern, although I'm nervous about it...It should be a good experiences regardless.

Well I finished!! I graduted September 11, 2010!! Hallelujah! My experience in internship was sooo amazing,even with some of the trials I went through.

Joshua and Me:
We have done so good together and I feel like marriage is great so far and that I find new reasons to fall in love with him all over again. I'm so blessed to be married to someone who loves me for who I am and supports me for anything. I'm just so happy with him and I only see better things coming from us together....including...HAVING A BABY! Since I've been so baby on the brain for almost a year and half now, I think we sort of know it's going to happen sooner than we think. Most likely trying towards the end of next year...so we'll see!! I'm super excited! Such great new experiences!

Well obviously...the main goal here was achieved :)


My 2011 Resolutions 
These are going to short and sweet this year  (This is the shortest list I've ever had!!)

Maintain steady relationship with God: 
I hate that sometimes I can be super faithful and reading my bible at the crack of dawn every morning, listening to Joyce Meyer radio to and from work, and just being holy all day long! And then the other times, I barely remember to pray once a day to thank God for my blessings. I have learned over the years that my personality tends to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. I decide I'm going to read 100 books, start on first 3 and decide I want to take Art Classes. I'm just a mess. And this story is unrelated, I digress.  Basically I need to learn this year how to maintain a STEADY relationship with God.


Balance being a mother and wife:
The last few months just being pregnant has really overshadowed my identity and role with my husband and everyone else around me. Everything is BABY, BABY, BABY.On my facebook it's all baby status and baby updates. I can't help it, I'm very excited and looking forward to everything in my new phase of life. But I do know I've also been neglecting Josh as a husband (let's keep it G-Rated people :) because all I want to talk about is baby stuff and not about us anymore. I think it's important for me to learn the balance.


How did you learn to balance wife role and mother role with your first child? And also how when did you feel quickening of your baby? What about a real first kick??

I want to make sure any readers and passerbyers may leave me a comment if you like. I've left the comments open, you can remain anonymous, just let me know your response, HELP ME OUT :)

Happy New Year Folks, and See ya in 2011!
Ciao.

Why I love my Husband Reasons #256-258

Now I know most married women love their husband, and I'm sure that's the case in MOST relationships, but I don't just love my husband for mundane things like: He has yet to leave me because I'm incredibly lazy. But more importantly because of the little random things over the years that have slowly tugged on my heart strings and made me love him even more.

#256: He taught me that peanut butter jelly sandwiches are not made with knifes. 

I KNOW RIGHT!! This will blow your mind. First of all, if your wondering about why I have a dancing banana then google it. Second of all...YES, the knife is not the ideal utensil for peanut butter jelly sandwiches.

When I first started dating my husband (and I mean the first few months) I was over his house and he offered me a snack. So we agree on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and proceed to the kitchen to gather our utensils. We began making it...and I like many taught americans grab the knife. He stops me..."What are you doing?"...I look at him holding a spoon...and bust out laughing. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!! And he said "Use a spoon, it's so much easier to get out and spread" And of course I tried to fight this logic because EVERYONE IS TAUGHT FIRST YOU GET THE KNIFE, AND YOU SPREAD IT, YOU SPREAD IT (singing the song). No one ever says first you get the spoon?!

Anywho long story short...I realized...that he was right. And I found him so attractive because he was so logically different. And till this day when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I always grab a spoon and think about it. <3

#257 He predicted our relationship wayyyy before I ever FATHOMED it.

 My husband has this wierd way of predicting things and doing the whole "I told you so" thing later because I never listen. Well before we started dating, we used to chat on AOL Instant Messenger, remember that? I saved our chats (lame) but here is what was said about 7 or 8 years ago.

JCIZZLE1605: im ur friend and im trying to be better friends wit u because i think ur a special person
JCIZZLE1605: like real coo
nIyAsTaRz04: but my personal opionon,
JCIZZLE1605: wuts ur opinion
nIyAsTaRz04: that i dont think it was supposed to happen with us, otherwise it would have
nIyAsTaRz04: but i think we make a great team of friends
JCIZZLE1605: i never say never becuase i think anythings possible
JCIZZLE1605: and everything has a chance
nIyAsTaRz04: i always liked talking to you
nIyAsTaRz04: we always had good talks
JCIZZLE1605: i know!!!!!!!
JCIZZLE1605: u the one watch 32years form now were gonna be married
JCIZZLE1605: watch
JCIZZLE1605: =-O
nIyAsTaRz04: lol
nIyAsTaRz04: that's NEVER gonna happen
nIyAsTaRz04: im going to bed
JCIZZLE1605: damn 

Ok so I was mean to him early on, but he was persistent! And this was when we were still in high school, so we couldn't spell or had LAME screen names. Anywho, so clearly he jedi mind tricked me into dating him soon after that, and then into being his wife and NOW into having his baby!! And I love him for that <3 

#258 He's an innovator. 

I have been telling my husband for years...to do what you love for a career. He's talented beyond words in music, graphics, videos, and pretty much anything he wants to be. But I have always seen his talent and love for those things, and I try to push him to put himself out there and do what his heart really desires. I'm his biggest fan, even though I could do more to show it at times, I have seen him from the first graphic ever...to the video he's making right now about our baby! He's amazing and creative it just makes me sick!! So I decided to post his website in hopes that if anyone wants to see just how talented and completey understand and appreciate reason #258 FULLY, to visit the link below:

CLICK HERE FOOLS!

Happy Holidays and Ciao!!

 

To relax or not to relax...

So...since I have been pregnant, I have NOT treated my hair with a relaxer. Actually I have not even taken care of my hair since I've been pregnant. I would say I'm about 19 weeks post in my relaxer. This means, that I haven't had a relaxer (chemical straightner) for 19 weeks. On average most African Americans who relax get one between 4-6 weeks. Some less, some more. My hair has never been this long without chemical. And it shows. I recently took down a sew in I had last month, and having to talk to my hair again was a challenge! Such a challenge, that I debated about getting a relaxer again, and just going back to the way things were (my hair was actually the best health and length before I got pregnant). OR...since we are broke anyway just to continue with the transitioning from relaxed to natural hair.

My husband supports my natural journey, surpsingly. Although he, at first has unrealistic expectations of what real 'natural' hair looks like for many african americans. I showed him a cluster of photos of what he'd like my natural hair to look like...he chose this:

Now, this is really cute, and if my natural hair was this loose and wavy I'd be sooo on he gravy train for natural hair. But I told him the reality is if I'm lucky and learn how to style my natural hair...it would look like this:

He said that was fine too, as long as it wasn't an afro like this:

 

This make me laugh, cause he doesn't realize that most afro's are just blown out hair of the above ladies. 

Anywho, so this is my debate...right now, I made the big mistake of blow drying my hair...because it's just huge and non-manageable. I can't even get a comb through my new growth (which is the new growth of my hair that isn't chemically relaxed). And dealing with the two different textures is beyond frustrating. But I guess I'll keep trucking,  maybe getting some braids or something in the mean time. I'm also wondering at what point will I do the "Big Chop" if I choose to. The big chop is basically a term that women who are transitioning decide once they have enough new growth, they permanently cut off their previous relaxed hair. This is usually how this looks:

This...is not something I am mentally prepared to do yet. When women "BC" it's an empowering mental strength required! This is because you are taking down your coat of who you are or what you hide behind, or what has been your identity for years...and showing the real 'you'. It's scary and I'm not quite ready yet. I still think about what people will think of me, will they laugh? I still worry about what my hubby will really think, will he find me unattractive? And I very much get scared of how I will think of myself, will I regret it?

I'm just not ready. But I know I'm ready to transition to natural, and continue this crazy journey...lesson #1...don't blow dry your hair.

Ciao.

Hellooo Second Trimester!

I can't believe it. Literally. I can't believe I'm still pregnant at times! Like...in June...this baby will have to come out (somehow...) and then I'll live with her for all my life...and she'll make decisions, go to college, fall in love, and make babies of her own one day. It boggles my mind more and more...

Things have changed...quite drastically. I feel well...different. NO ONE TELLS YOU about some of the craziness that comes with pregnancy. NO ONE!! First of all...without sounding too whiny, I would have liked to known that:

• Suddenly I would get these awful gut wrenching headaches EVERY TIME I stand up for about several seconds. 
• That my body is running shop like it knows what it's doing! My pelvis is so sore, I'm not sure what's going on down there but it hurts and it's so uncomfortable especially at night.
• I would burp and fart like a teenage boy. And ALL THE TIME!

Anyhow--

I'm eating all the time and it's awesome. A little two awesome because I weighed 113 pds about 2 weeks ago, and today I weigh 116. That's about a pound and half per week. And supposedly you gain about 25-35 pounds during pregnancy, but I weighed 125 pre pregnancy and lost weight during the first trimester (about 13 pounds). So I'm not sure if I should be 140 or 150 pounds? The weight I'm gaining now is only in my stomach...which I feel like I'm showing already.

I still haven't purchased anything...but we aren't the position to really buy any unnecessary pregnancy things right now I suppose. If things were different I'm sure I would have blown lots of money on stupid stuff. The one thing I kinda really want is a pregnancy pillow. I have such a hard time getting comfy. Especially since I have hubby on one side (laying crooked, or in the center) then have my cat on side and my dog on the other side...it's too much sometimes.

I think I should buy monkey something...something to make it more real you know? Like a little pair of socks or something? Hehehe, I guess after we find out boy/girl (girl!).

Allright
I'm off now...
Ciao.

Almost 200 Visitors!

I know that's not alot to...well anyone. But that's pure awesomeness to me! It mean almost 200 random (or fav vistors) read my blog, which makes me feel like someone has been sharing my joys and pains :) And this is why I write, and also because it helps me sort out thoughts and feelings, blah blah blah...

I'm halfway through my 12th week of pregnancy, and wow, things have really turned around for the better. My nausea has really stopped, of course I throw up randomly once a week, and I gag maybe once or twice, but hey, I'll take that over dreading to get up every single morning until after 12 pm, eating crackers *gag*.
Anywho, now that my nausea has been lifted, MY APETITE HAS RETURNED....WITH A VEGENANCE! I love to eat, and the last few months have been hard because I've lost all desire to eat real food. But since the middle of last week I've been eating...and eating...and growing...and eating. I totally have a baby belly!

 

Wish I could make this...upside, but the uploader thing here is lame. Anywho, that was beginning of my 11/12th week, I think?  Now I logically thought I would show sooner because I'm so thin. But I read it actually took many thin women longer to show because their babies were often tiny. Well either my baby is huge or I'm just getting overly fat already, because that's big to me! And I thought well maybe its bloat...but my stomach now looks like this first thing in the morning! I dp not blame the bloat, but think my lovely bun in the oven is moving up and out of the pelvic area and since my abdomen is 2 inches smaller then normal people, I suppose things may move a bit more rapidily.

I sometimes still think about miscarriage, but since coming into my 12/13th week, honestly my worst fears are still set aside. I think any other worrying or thinking about it is a natural instinct as "mother". For the most part I talk to my monkey, sing Christmas songs to her, I tickle her and play patty cake...I know...wierd!

And you may have noticed I said 'her', and it's because I think monkey is a girl! EVERYONE else especially on my hubby's side wants it to be a boy, because my hubby is the last carrier of the last name. So if we have a boy the name will live on. Now of course I don't think we will have just one baby, as long as we are able to, so if it doesn't happen this time..maybe next time??

I think monkey is a girl because of a few reasons:

• Her heart rate has always been super high, 178 is high! And research has showed girls tend to carry higher heartbeats than boys.
• Also, she looks cute.
• And because I was so sick! They say the extra estrogen in baby's developing body along with mother causes more sickness. 
• Also, TMI, but they say that mens female swimmers last longer than male swimmers. So since I charted that cycle I knew I had released an egg a few days after BD'ing...so scientifically most of the male swimmers would have died off or probably went to the wrong tube like retards who don't ask for directions. While the 'smarter' females took their time and sought after the egg for a 3 day voyage. 
• Also...THIS! Let's go back in time... 

Wednesday, September 22

Also what was also wierd was in the dream I was hanging up a pink babies bath robe on a white hook in the room...it was like I was preparing for a baby girl? Hmm... Honestly--I just think it's Gods way of preparing me for it! But I thought it was funny having a dream hanging up the baby bath robe because in August I dreamed I peed on a stick and it was positive. That was about 2 weeks before I got a the positive. And even though it was not sticky, this time around if I am I know it will be!

I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later with this dream as well :)

Now I know all these aren't hard and fast rules/facts, most being wives tales, but it's still exciting to think about right?! Boy or girl, I can't wait to feel monkey move! I think I feel some stuff going on in there, but I don't know if it's monkey or the 3 pound bowl of cereal I ate.

Well I'm off to get stuff done today since I feel good!
Ciao.