Why is it so hard?

For me to blog? I look back at some of my Xanga blogs. I was the blogging queen. I love to reread my crazy college stories and my ups and downs with my then boyfriend (no hubby). I love seeing how things turned out and reflecting about my life (narcissistic, right?). Today I was reading another blogger's pregnancy blog...which of course in turn, caused me to reread my own pregnancy journals. I smiled as I remembered some of those same feelings/thoughts during my pregnancy that I'm reliving as I read hers. It makes me realize...I miss blogging. I miss expressing myself and journaling my journey.

My life is so different now. Not in a bad way either, just different then what I imagined it to be. I'm sure many people feel that way. You plan and work to getting to one point, and then sometimes you end up in a different area. But you like it. And the more you learn about yourself and the new place your in, the more you begin understanding yourself and what your real priorities are.

For instance all through high school and college. I wanted to be a super business woman. I wanted to have my own business and work ridiculous ungodly hours and make big bucks. I did not want a family. I have a really strong work ethic (both my husband and I do) and I strive for great work results, even if it kills me. Having a family just didn't fit into that way of life. But low and behold. I had decided with an overwhelming sensation that I wanted to start a baby. I fought it for a while, then gave in to it. Then my husband fought it for awhile, then fought me for a while. Then we both jumped. My--how has my life changed. I'm much happier as a mother. I can't wait to do it again! I love being a parent and a wife. I receive more pleasure in balancing a rewarding career (still working on that...) and life at home.

I know this is alot to swallow, and you could be thinking, dang this is way to deep for your first blog in months. Or you may be wondering, what are you talking about?? Eh. Bottom line. I need to blog more.

Ciao.