A birthday surprise

Yesterday was my 11/12 week appointment to hear the heartbeat. You know, this was a nervous and scary time for me, since I had been silently worried about losing it. My parents came to visit us this thanksgiving, since I've been feeling so bad and couldn't really cook for hubby this year. So my step mom, hubby and I all went to the doctors appoitment.

I was nervous but everything started off pretty normal. Got inside the small room and laid down on the patient bed. The nurse grabbed the fetal doppler and began squirting the cold gel on my tummy. She started searching...it felt like hours went by but I knew it had only been about one minute. She couldn't find it. She told me not worry it could be hiding and she'd try again. But still...she couldn't find it. She said she would go get the doctor and he'd be sure to find it. While she left, I looked at my step mom. She looked uneasy but just stayed smiling. I looked at my husband and he just kept saying "Everything's gonna be fine..." more so trying to convince himself than me. I had mixed emotions, most of me was hanging on my faith by a thread "They are gonna find it". And then another small side of me "This is it...isn't it." I was pretty sure every single person in that room was praying the same prayer I was "Please God, let there be a healthy baby in there".


The doctor came in and after a few moment he could not find it. He simply said we would need to go to the ultrasound room to see the baby. We all walked over there and that process began. Immediately after she put the warm gel, she began telling us to look at the screen. I think I was holding my breath.

And there was a lovely heartbeat. 178 BPM and it was beautiful. Then the picture came...and both hubby and I stared with joker like smiles plastered on our face, as we watched a little human being move about on the screen!! It was AWESOME. Now I had showed hubby you tube videos of ultrasounds at 11 weeks, how the babies move. But it still shocked him to pieces to see OUR baby move! He recorded the short clip on his phone and so far I watch it about every few hours or so...I love it. The baby is moving her arms and looks like she sucks her thumb or laughing. Everyone says she looks like me because her face is real slender and not round like my hubbys.

I'm so in love already. And so happy that I'm a mile stone step closer to the second trimester (one week away!) and feel more confident in this pregnancy.

Not only did that happen on my last day of work until next week, but today I get to spend lots of time with my parents and hubby, and I'm feel much better and can't wait to eat, but tommorow I'm gonna do a bit of shopping and get my hair done (finally!) and Saturday I have a 4 hour prenatal spa day courtesy of my hubby!! All with no work, and just time to relax and enjoy this. IM SO HAPPY!!

What a wonderful birhday surprise.

Happy Birthday to Me, and Happy Gobble Gobble Day to you and yours :)

Week 10 and still going...I think.

I know it's still horrible I say things like "I think I'm still pregnant". But I mean you hear all the time about the different miscarriages especially the dreaded "Silent Miscarriage" aka the missed miscarriage. When the baby dies but your body carries on the pregnancy...for weeks. It's the most devastating in my opinion. And it's supposed to be rare, but I swear I run into about several woman a month on my baby boards that have come face to face with this terrible fate.

(BTW, I'm watching a movie, and just wonder why EVERY single time a person walks in on a dead bloody person they always get down and start touching them and rubbing their hands in the blood and all over their clothes....random I know)

It's super scary, but I can't help but think about all the possibilities. I have faith that since I'm not bleeding or cramping, that my baby is growing every day. Until the doctor proves me otherwise! My next appointment is next Wed to hear the heart beat. I saw it at 7 weeks, but at 11 weeks I should be able to hear it. Exciting, but I'm nervous! This one sound will really help me breathe easy for at least a little while...

Being pregnant has started off so rough. I last threw up yesterday morning, as soon as I woke up. Today I felt fine. Tomorrow if I don't throw up must mean by morning sickness is weaning. I won't hold my breath for Thursday though, hehe.

My appetite has resurfaced again! Yay! I snack a lot during the day, and in the evenings crave pasta (spaghetti, antipasto, etc) and CAESAR SALAD!  I eat one like every day! I like to think my body is just really wanting lettuce and that's fine with me since its healthy and I love it. At night my favorite snack is popcorn is hot sauce on it! Yum! I love going to bed full, I feel so good. But by the middle of the night during my usual pee time, I feel pretty bad cause my stomach is empty...and the cycle starts all over with me feeling awful in the morning.

In fact I'm on my second bowl of salad for the night, and I'm tired and really enjoy the relaxing time I get all day before work and then in the evenings after work. I LOVE laying around and sleeping. There's lots of things I would rather be doing, but I just don't have the energy to do it at all!

Only 2 more weeks until I hit the second trimester so hopefully I'll be feeling up to par by then!

Ciao.

I'm not dead...and I'm still pregnant!

I know I have disappeared from the face of the earth, both on the internet and in real life. Pregnancy has turned my life into a complete 180! Everything was fine and dandy for about...the first 5 weeks. During the end of my 5th week and moving into my 6th...I was getting so nauseated. Then during my 6th the nausea was worse. During my 7th week the nausea got even worse and I began gagging.

My hubby said "Don't worry about the gagging, you know your not gonna throw up so just try to do everything like normal"

I stopped taking his advice at week 8. Low and behold I had began actually throwing up in the mornings and afternoons. It was the worst! I was reduced down to a vomiting person who lied in bed (partially because I'm sooo tired) from the time she woke up to around 3 pm. I had to go to work for a few hours but luckily I tend to feel better in the afternoons and by evenings can eat food. When I get home from work at 8 pm, I watch tv for an hour and it's back to bed. It's been my schedule since week 6.

I last threw up Monday morning, week 9, and it was as soon as I opened my eyes and rolled over in the bed. It was awful. But since then, I actually been feeling good! This of course worries me, but in the past this feeling has never lasted a day and another morning!

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm super excited because I hate being nauseated, but it's so scary in pregnancy, because you wonder if it's 'normal' and if it means loss of symptoms = loss of baby! Since I had that chemical pregnancy before this pregnancy I really didn't let myself get attached to this baby. But now I'm very attached and would be devastated if anything happened. I know this fears and anxieties are normal, and most people tell me to 'cast them away' and for the most part I am doing that, but I can't help it. My mantra is 'God is working with my body to help create and keep this baby, my body knows what's it doing and so does God'.

We get to hear the heartbeat a day before my birthday...this could make my birthday great, or devastate both my birthday and thanksgiving. I'm sure things will be fine. I had an U/S @ 7 weeks and everything was good and we saw baby's heartbeat. So just gotta make it a few more weeks!!

Well I'm getting lighted headed now (yes!!)