Best day of my life. Yesterday had to be. But let's take it back to the beginning.

Frustrated with myself.

Here I am at 40+3 and no baby. Yesterday I was upset when coming from the Dr's, I found out that although baby monkey was doing great, I was not progressing with labor. My doctor used the term 'unfavorable'. That is depressing to hear. They said they would call with induction dates.

Today they called. June 23 was the date chosen. I wasn't even asked to have an opinion. It was chosen for me. That's more than a week away. This is just so discouraging. I called my dad and ranted to him. Upset. I posted my feelings on facebook and twitter. Yet I still feel really really down about this. Like I don't know why--I guess because it's just taking so long and I'm anticipating it. I think some of it has to do with the unexpected realization that this could take so long. It's not so cut and dry as you would think. My first mommy lesson.


I have a few things planned to do over the next week to keep me busy:

• Make a rice sock
• Finish Scrapbooking
• Bake a birthday cake
• Make a belly cast
• Make a labor playlist
• Finish my garden (actually...care about my garden)
• Finish thank you cards

I hope that's enough things to keep me from not eating everything in sight while boring myself to death. I'm trying to look on the bright side of things--but I just need time to get over the dark side first I guess.

Hopefully he will come sooner and on his own--

The Expierence

I can't believe. Here I am. 39 weeks and into my 40th week. This is it. I will be having "The Experience".

Now that I'm getting closer I like reading other people's labor stories and hearing others. They have been through something I have not. And it's all so different-- I wonder what my story would be like? Will I have an easy 12 hour birth--or gut wrenching tear jerker 'I almost didn't make it' 48 hours of labor story? Hopefully the latter.

I just feel like I'm going to cover sacred ground soon. I will be a new woman--a mom. I'm crossing that boundary from just a working married female-- to a mom whose heart lives outside of her. Everything in my life is going to change. And soon! I've been having crazy contractions these last few weeks and especially more intense the last two days. Something's bound to happen in the next few weeks....(wishfully days?)

And I think I'm ready as I'll be. Sure the house could use another good clean up (I'm all nested out at this point.) Sure- I have clothes to wash (I'm washing now...) and Sure I have some work to finish up from my job before I take leave (It will get done in the next two days). I'm as ready as I'll ever be for this baby. Mentally and all.

I'm ready for the experience!

It's June...

It's June 2011. JUNE.2011. This month my baby HAS to come out. Not like in May where "oh well..it could come out, possibly.' No- It has to come out. I would be 43-44 weeks at the end of this month, and let's be real, we ain't staying pregnant that long. I can't believe my due date is a mere 11 days away. 11 days. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING??

I look back on my earliar entries on blogger and xanga where I stressed about wanting to get pregnant and planning the perfect time to get pregnant. Doing the whole taking my temps every morning with a BBT and tracking my cervical mucous (gross!) and then doing the baby dance and waiting the two week wait for testing....ahhh as technical as it all was, here I am. Working to my 39th week...and about to have this baby.

Where is my head? I can't even tell you. Sometimes I'm going through anxiety, happiness, and fear all at once! Every twinge and cramp I'm thinking 'Is this it?'. It literally reminds me of the two week wait (the wait you take after you ovulated- to see if you pregnant or not).

But everything is done. I went through a major nesting phase this weekend. Pretty much all I have to do is get some pictures made for his room, and keep the house clean. I'm still working and that's awesome because it keeps me somewhat sidetracked. But since I'm working from home- I get more sidetracked than normal.

My appetite is demolished for the most part. I eat about 2 or 3 small meals a day. I just have no desire to eat like I used to. And I eat whatever I crave. After baby comes I'll be on a stricter diet (breastfeeding) and won't be able to! Also- hubby goes right along with it. And when I want to go out and do something spontaneous, he just goes along. We know we have to cherish these last few weeks of 'our time'. That's why I sleep in a little later and spend more nights watching tv with hubby or just cuddling with him alone (and Amia.) I also had my nails and toenails done and want to get a prenatal massage before too.

The times when I'm doing all of this- I'm scared and anxious. But when I watch a baby story or read about my board members births in May/June- I get so excited! To meet Adrian and just eat his little toes and fingers! A mix of feelings.

I just can't believe it's June...and this baby has to come sometime this month. And there's no turning back when it does...