Saying Goodbye and Dreams

I remember as clear as yesterday...

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Moving on...

So I've started my internship, it actually started the first week in this month. And at first, I was skeptical, I mean working in the field, that I wasn't even sure that I may like at a place that is actually intended for social work, not necessarily for counseling.

This was my entry wayy back when I was just starting out my nternship. Young, scared, anxious, fresh and new. I was pretty skeptical and wary the entire first few months...even considering leaving to go to another site (WORST DECISION EVER.) However, I landed right back where I belong. And alas, after seven months of hard work, dealing with all kinds of different clients, and passing my office down to two new interns starting...I took my last clients yesterday, and turned in my last bouts of paperwork and took down my posters, pictures, and decor left. Say goodbye to the caseworkers and staff...and walked down that long hall towards the doors.

This walk down this hall was not just a regular walk, like my usual hustle bustle to get out, it was a spirtual walk. I felt...more mature, smarter, and more sure of what it is that God's plan for my life was. I left that empty room...completely empty, and it looked just like the day it did when I moved in there. But this time, my supervisor was replacing it with two new girls. And these girls and whoever else, will follow in my footsteps interning there, will always be looking at my original documents, paperwork, theories and ideas. Because I was The Pioneer, the first, intern counselor there.

And now leaving...I felt like I've grown, spiritually and mentally during this internship. And going in I was only trying to find place to hurry up and do this stupid internship, so that I could graduate from this stupid degree. But I came out learning that not only is counseling the path God wants me to stay with, but he's blessed me with this remarkable talent for it.

Leaving my site yesterday was amazing. But not as amazing as I felt for taking that journey in the first place. *Thank you* Now it's time for me to sit back, do some volunteer or paid counseling, and start my  new job at the BGC and enjoy what God brings to my husband's blossoming career and whatnot. Right now, I can not ask him for anything else but wisdom. I am very content.

Ok, so the second part of this is the whole dreams thing.
Last night I had a dream that I was back in my childhood home (I moved out when I was like 14/15) and the house was being used like an office or place of business. Well we knew there was a killer there...and something happened, but I knew he was gonna start killing people soon, and I thought to myself "I have to leave now!" I was in my basement, and he came down there. So I tried to look really really busy and distracted (I had 3 portfolios in my hand with really nothing in them). I walked past him quickly so focused on the empty portfolios, mumbling something on my way down like "I got to get this done". Well the  killer who appeared to be like the character Hannibal Lector just slowly watched me brush past him in a hurry. He made some grunts and stabbed blindly at me lightly (not enough to hurt me, almost like to scare me). I didn't let him see the reaction he was looking for and just stayed busy. Once I got up those stairs, I slowly opened the outside doors and took off to the only place I thought he would never come to. A neighbors house across the street. And most importantly I never looked back, ever! Not even to see if he was following me, I just took off! My theory in the dream was that he'd be so busy killing other people inside, he wouldn't have time to wander around the neighborhood trying to find me. At the neighbors house I called police AND swat team. Go me!

So...first of all, whenever I dream about myself in a home, IT IS ALWAYS IN MY CHLDHOOD HOME! ALWAYS! Even if I'm an adult or married, it's still there. Sometimes my deceased mother is there, or my dad.

Visiting your childhood home is a common dream scenario. Such dreams usually occur when you're dealing with a problem that stems from your upbringing. After all, your childhood is where you developed the foundation of who you are. The traditions, emotional patterns and beliefs you learned while growing up will influence you, for good or for bad, as an adult. Dreams of your childhood home can reveal an ingrained belief or attitude that is keeping you from manifesting what you want now, like a compatible relationship or success in your work.

 Interesting. But what about the killer and be escaping the way I did?

To see a killer in your dream, suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

To dream that you escape from injury, from an animal, or from any situation, signifies your good health and prosperity. You will experience a favorable turn of events.

 Wow...interesting, and I believe very true. What is it exactly my mind is trying to tell me??