Spiritual Fast Part II

So...clarifications. I am overwhelmed.

Hubby predicted this would happen. I took a simple concept such a fasting and blew it out of porportion way to soon. Now, you would think giving up TV, Music, Games, and Blogs would be easy for a week? I did too.

This week has been really rough already, and I thought to myself...why am I so irritable lately? I'm doing everything like I'm supposed to do, right? Why don't I feel better at all?

My answer came today...I am so overwhlemed with learning the new job and training for it, doing the complete fast and diving into another level of spiritual relations [that I truly do want!] and trying to be an extra perfect wife for my hubby [ I have been much kinder, and more supportive in the past week! Yay me] I have just been overwhelmed. I feel there is too much at one time going on for me.

Today I was stressing out, about whether or not I know that everything I'm doing is right. That's when hubby stepped in and told me..."

"Whoa, your spazzing...."

I didn't want to admit it cause I didn't want to feel like a quitter...and after all wouldn't God be upset with me?? Well...after I discussed it, I felt like I'm sure God's not happy with me running around just trying to do a fast because it's novel and exciting to me. Not for the true reasons. It's hard to admit that, but I feel comfortable about it on here. And it's how I feel.

NOTHER THING...

Ok, today I mediatated on "Pregnancy and patience". I was inspired by God [with the help from joyce myers!] that there is a season for everything. And we should not be miserable while waiting for our seeds to harvest! In fact, chances are since God knows your heart's desires he's waiting for you to build character and PATIENCE. I just realized that yes, everyone knows I'd like a baby soon, BUT I need to be patient and wait. That's it. It will be a challenge. What I did, was wrote down this verse ---->

"But as for me, I trust in you, O' Lord; I say, "You are my God."
  My times are in Your hand;"

And I kept in on a sticky tab. That I will carry around with me. And whenever I feel tempted to act on impatience...I will recite this. Trust me...I'll know it by memory after a few days :)

In conclusion [#Side note: when I was in undergraduate I used to always finish my concluding paragraphs with In Conclusion...people who used to proofread my paper would make fun of me for capitlizaing both words...like I was yelling IN CONCLUSION!] [its probably not as funny anymore..] [sorry for wasting your time] I basically decided that I am still going to fast...but I'm taking it more slow this time...I'm going down to Blogs and Music. I have really enjoyed not having to listen to garbage music or having to read garbage online. :)

Ciao.